What does self care mean to you?
To be clear before I even start that I am not referring to the image of self care that is all bubble baths, flowers and champagne. If these are part of your self care toolkit, that’s great but these are the superficial elements, the real self care is behind these. What I am talking about is greater than these, and the impact of self care can be huge.
I gave a talk a while ago on self care and wellness to a group of 60+ year olds. When I asked what their idea of self care is, the over-riding response was “to look after yourself and your needs”. True. Entry level self care is responding to our basic needs, ensuring we feel safe and fed. True self care is more than that. True self care is what we do to help us flourish, not just function.
What is at the basis of helping you flourish?
This could be something that you love, something that makes you feel good about yourself. At the core of self care is the act of feeling good about ourselves, who we are in the world and how we live our lives. Much of self care therefore is our ability to connect with our true selves and act authentically. This could include journaling, socialising, hobbies or taking moments to reflect positively on yourself.
What do you like about yourself? How can you explore this further?
In what moments do you feel good about who you are? How do you celebrate this?
This could be something to help manage your emotions. Let’s face it life throws a lot at us, especially with so much pandemic induced uncertainty and so much social media external validation pressure. How do you manage these daily stresses? How do you ensure your stress cup doesn’t overflow to damage you and your emotions? It’s important to have systems in place to help with this, and even better if these are part of your natural daily routines, because we all feel emotions; both “positive” and “negative”. We cannot deny this. It is a normal brain function, much like breathing and moving. If we try to deny or ignore feelings this can cause them to escalate or fester… it also makes it hard, especially for people pleasers, to accept the positive emotions appropriately. As part of self care it is helpful to have ways to accept those emotions, be aware of them and take control, this could be mindfulness, it could be journaling, it could be exercise; whatever works for you personally.
What techniques do you have to manage your emotions?
How can you use these to take control?
This could be something that helps you rest and recharge. We are not robots, we need time to recharge. But recharging doesn’t always mean physical rest, it doesn’t necessarily mean a day in front of the TV or a lie in. It could mean finding some inspiration to give a creative boost. It could mean spending time with particular people to give you an emotional boost. It could mean getting involved in a project, to feel part of something bigger. It could mean practicing gratitude.
When do you feel your energy is boosted? How can you build more of that into your routine?
What do you crave when you’re feeling depleted?
This could be something that helps you grow. Humans are meant to grow, and when we find we are lacking this, whether in our professional lives, our relationships or generally in our selves, this is when we get that familiar feeling of being stuck.
What do you do that helps you grow?
How could you integrate more of this into your life? How could you make this more intentional?
Once you have this you can almost develop your own self care list, build these into your habits but also have a toolkit for when you may be struggling because it is always easier to get going when you have a plan.
My self care list includes; getting outside, in particular for walks with open spaces, great conversations, exercise, making and eating good food, and learning new things. I also have a NO self care list but that’s another story…
What’s in your self care toolkit? What’s your idea of self care? I’d love to know.
Let me know below or drop me a mail on chloe@viacourses.co.uk - Let’s chat!
